so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
home. puking in laundry basket.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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