You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
