he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Randomize
