My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
