she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
What a dumb baby whore.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
