12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Randomize
