sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
My nipple is on Facebook.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
