weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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