Can Purell be used as lube?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
