tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
