some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
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