we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I am naked and annoyed.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
