were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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