I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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