I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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