You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
