I wanna passion pit in your ass
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
