we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
