I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Randomize
