I will die if light touches me.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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