WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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