I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
