Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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