I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
