I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
