I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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