The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
