Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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