addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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