Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
