Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
