you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
