1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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