You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Congratulations! We have a period
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