went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
