There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
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