so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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