he thought i was a dude.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I fill condoms, not promises.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
