she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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