I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Randomize
