u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
