Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
