You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
