You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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