Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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