it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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