He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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