So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
