You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
a search helicopter?!
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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