What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
