I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
