you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
